My Brain Hurts…….

First Head Transplant Declared a Success:

Seems a team of Chinese doctors spent 18 hours transplanting a human head onto a monkey. Luckily both patients were already dead. Even though the patients involved were cadavers, the doctors believed the surgery was a success and they would now like to move on to experiments with human beings. OK, I admit I am not a doctor nor do I even play one on TV but my question is: if both patients were already deceased how do these doctors know the surgery was a success? Come on, seems like a simple enough question, why didn’t the reporter who wrote the article ask? Actually I am skeptical of the whole article sounds like Sum Tin is Wong with the whole situation…………….

Florida Man/Woman White/Filipino Whatever:

The new age of inclusiveness is upon us where you can identify as a man if you’re really a woman or as a woman if you’re really a man or black if you’re really white etc.etc,etc….Now we have the strange case of Adam from Florida. Poor Adam is a woman trapped in a man’s body but he also suffers apparently from being a white guy/girl and he feels like a Filipino trapped in a Caucasian’s skin suit. WOW This dude/gal would probably make the cover of Craziest Human of the Month magazine if it existed.

Children are Bad for Your Health:

One reason I have always referred to virulent environmentalists as enviro-Nazis is this article about a ‘scientific’ study that allegedly shows having children especially if your wealthy damages our planet.  These self-described men of science think they have proven beyond any shadow of a doubt that wealthy kids leave big carbon footprints and as they grow those footprints get even larger. This makes them a danger to the Earth. Excuse me fellas, I believe that the only danger to the Earth found here is from scientists who say they believe in  Global Warming and also believe if there were fewer people the world would be better off. Here’s an idea, retroactively abort yourselves for the good of science and the planet, sounds like a win/win deal to me.

Nudist Restaurant Opens in Paris:

I like food but I just might have to ask for a LOT of extra napkins at this eatery. O’ Naturel is Paris’ newest swanky restaurant and you will not have to worry about how to dress when you go there because clothing is optional. Tired of wearing a jacket to dinner to impress your date, want to get a good look at her “goods’ before picking up that check, well now this restaurant is the place to visit. What a great idea, I have lived most of my life believing in the motto “to each their own” but I think I may have to re-think about that now. What’s next naked tours of the Eiffel Tower? Maybe the Louvre unclothed? The possibilities are endless.

Vegetarian Men Battle Depression:

This is a no brainer, not eating meat goes against the manly man code. It’s an abomination to eat only vegetables. Our ancestors hunted and ate meat, certain animals hunt and eat meat so why not continue a time-honored tradition. Stop consuming tofu, bean burgers and seaweed. Grill a burger or brat eat up guys you will be happier. Get a copy of my favorite cookbook on sale at Amazon, Eat Whatever You Want and Die Like a Man. You’ll be happy you did.

Yes these are real headlines gathered from a variety of reputable web news organizations. We live in wild and wacky times where it sure seems like the inmates are running the asylum……….Excuse me time for my medication. NURSE!!! NURSE!!! NURSE!!!

 

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