I have been thinking a lot about words and their meanings and a line from ‘Princess Bride’ keeps going thru my mind, “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means”. So without further ado here are my commonsense definitions to some commonly used words……..
Xenophobia – an irrational fear of watching reruns of Xena Warrior Princess, symptoms include sweaty hands when holding on to your Xena action figure too tightly and watching Lucy Lawless sing the National Anthem on You_Tube before a San Diego Padres game in which her top fell down during the finale.
Islamophobia – Perfectly common sense fear of being killed by an Islamic terrorist during a terrorist attack. Sometimes confused with the irrational feeling that Islam is actually a religion that teaches peace.
Homophobia – Fear of one’s home. Maybe there is actually a monster in that closet. Maybe a previous resident died mysteriously and needs you to solve the mystery of their death, maybe your just bat guano crazy.
Atheist – Usually a person who is afraid to use any words that begin with the letter ‘A’.
Deplorable – Any common sense American who doesn’t vote for Democrat Party candidates. For a more in-depth example do research on common Trump supporter or voter. Also see Hillary Clinton’s sworn enemies.
Misogynist – Women who refuse to use the terms Miss or Miz. A male who is afraid to have a male masseuse.
Sexist – A person who is afraid of sex, almost always a virgin but can also be an old fart, spinster or someone suffering from extreme cold as in frigid.
Fascist – A person who doesn’t like their own face, predominately Super Heroes who hide their faces with masks or Muslim women who wear full burka outfits.
Arachnophobia – Hunters who are afraid of deer with large antlers or men who may be afraid of large breasted women. The hunters are usually drunk when this occurs the men afflicted with the fear of large breasted women are usually gay or in some cases carpenters or possibly gay carpenters.
Agoraphobia – Fear of Al Gore and his Global Warming speeches. May manifest itself by someone believing that at this very moment Al is at the North Pole with a flame thrower melting the polar ice cap.
Racist – A black person who fears NASCAR. All the Confederate flags at races especially in southern states can cause black people to have panic attacks.
Blogaphobia – Fear that sarcastic and insane people like the author of this blog will someday write a blog on the internet.
Time for my medication now. You all come back now, hear?