Wish Me Luck……….

First and foremost let me say: I LOVE MY WIFE!!!!

OK, now that I have expressed my love for my life partner, soul-mate, significant other and of course my omnipotent marriage partner let me be truthful when I say there are days where God needs to grant me some extra Grace just to calm me down. Recently, one of those days presented itself and after soothing some ruffled feathers I decided I would do a little research to see why her mood swing that morning hovered somewhere between Godzilla stomping on Tokyo and how Joan Crawford felt about wire hangars.

While I long ago decided that how I look and what I eat is fine and dandy for me, my wife likes to occasionally try new diets and healthy living programs to improve herself. Nothing wrong with that except that her latest self experiment in nutrition and dieting includes physically detoxifying. If what she consumed for breakfast that morning is any indication I believe she had a right to be angry. Getting up a little earlier than usual to mix blueberries with some sort of white ooze and ‘flavoring’ the mixture with something that appeared to be found previously residing in a pasture populated by horses can’t be appetizing. Too each their own, I fed myself with items formerly found in a hen-house and a pig pen. So what do I really know? I don’t even want to know what she might have had for lunch and dinner.

Trying to put myself in her shoes I decided to research detox diets and it didn’t take long to realize that these diets not only affected people’s bodies they also affected people’s emotions and moods. Color me curious, not curious enough to detox my personal temple of a body that believes in “eating whatever I want and dying like a man” but curious enough to research further.

Apparently there is a direct connection between what you eat and how you feel. Alright, I can buy that line of thinking. I love pasta and when I have eaten too much of a good thing, I remember feeling bloated and fat. Pizza has the same effect on me. Eating healthy while detoxifying can not only affect your body but it apparently can make people moody and overly emotional while it frees your body by purging harmful toxins you have consumed. So if I read this correctly eating healthy can actually drive a person to the verge of insanity. WOW, I think by bar-b-q ribs and beer diet is looking better all the time. I mean whenever I eat ribs, a baked tater and for health reasons a salad with a cold beer to stay hydrated I do not ever remember becoming emotionally unhinged. Coincidence? I think not………..

Further research showed that detoxifying can free your body from the negative effects of processed foods, sugars, fats…you know, all the stuff that makes food taste good. The side effects of this purging can include: sluggishness, headaches, lethargy, anger and my personal favorite ‘bitchy impatience’. Jumping butter-balls (food pun intended) with those side effects there hopefully is a warning label some-where so the people who are in harm’s way know they should protect themselves. Where’s the FDA when you need them those government slackers.

The article I read mentioned these side-effects ‘should’ be temporary. I guess once you get used to eating dry horse manure with raw yogurt and fava beans you feel better. In my opinion your body probably decides to act like the French and surrenders because it believes you will never feed it properly again. Just my opinion. However if you do manage to turn the detox bitchy corner and gain entrance to health nirvana, you should feel happier, joyful and healthier.

Healthy habits and detox are best accomplished when you create a healthy routine and stick to it. Healthy smoothies, plenty of fiber and antioxidants will have you flushing them toxins in no time. I can attest to having flushed many toxins over my 6 decades of life with the aid of extra fiber. Plenty of sleep is also another healthy habit to maintain emotional control and soothe that inner grumpy feeling. Having patience with yourself while detoxifying is also important. For people in a relationship warning those relationship partners when you’re detoxing will help those individuals have patience with you. Hey, just because you intend to drive yourself nuts doesn’t mean your partner has to go crazy too. One person with mental issues regarding food at a time please.

I hope my wife realizes what a good hubby I am by doing research on her food related mental illness. Just trying to better understand her inner struggle with healthy eating. I love ya honey. Good luck with your new health regime. Now I wonder why my wife just asked me where my gun is? Hmmmmm…………………………………………………………………….

While I attempt to stem the bleeding from my rather large gaping chest wound, I would like to acknowledge https://www.wellandgood.com/good-food/clean-eating-emotional-detox/  for supplying the info I used for today’s blog.

One thought on “Wish Me Luck……….

  1. You forgot the two most important rules. #1 your honey is always right. #2 if not… Refer to rule #1. Lol!!!

    Like

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